I spent my childhood, teenage, and young adult years in the arts – studying voice, dance, and theater. If you had ever asked me if I thought I would earn a black belt in karate in my adulthood, I would have laughed in your face. And yet, that’s exactly what I did.
I didn’t start with that goal in mind. We had put our son in karate at 7 years old, hoping for him to find an outlet to burn some energy, cultivate some focus, and make some friends. He had never done well in team sports and since karate was only ever about being a better version of yourself, it seemed like it could be a good fit for him.
He had been doing well for about 7 months, then started losing interest. After speaking to the lead instructor, I decided I would join him in the parent/child classes to keep him motivated and interested.
So, I took my first karate class at 37 years old. It was NOT what I thought it was going to be. To be honest, I don’t know what I expected. But it was demanding – a full body workout requiring a synchronization of body movements that somehow felt familiar (like the dance classes from my youth), and I LOVED it.
I didn’t really intend to earn my black belt when I started – it really was about keeping my son’s interest up because we saw so many benefits from his participation in the sport. But as time wore on, that became something I wanted – to earn a first-degree black belt.
When I made the decision, that black belt felt really far away and quite impossible. I didn’t know how I was going to make it to all the classes with my medically fragile daughter at home (nursing wasn’t always reliable), but I was excited to do this with my son and I loved the community I found at the karate dojo. It was a place to “get away from it all.” And that’s just what I did –every time I bowed myself into the dojo at the front entrance, everything in the world melted away (at least until I bowed out of that door when I left).
It felt good to claim something for myself after so many years of feeling like my priority was always my children, both of whom had special needs. I loved the way karate made me feel – strong, empowered, and capable.
I didn’t take the fastest route to my black belt. I got waylaid by multiple fractures in my feet that had nothing to do with karate. (I teach parents that carrying too heavy a load as a special needs parent – without asking for help – leaves your body no other choice than to manifest physical symptoms.) And then Covid hit. All in all, it took me 9 years to earn my interim black belt and another one to earn my first-degree black belt. But it was mine – my goal, my journey, my accomplishment.
In the end, my son did lose interest and made it to advanced brown belt before deciding not to go any further. That was a lesson in and of itself for me: it’s okay for me to pursue ME, even if the vision I had of us earning that coveted honor together wasn’t going to come to pass.
Today, I know that it is not only possible for me to go after my own dreams, it’s sacred. They are on my heart for a reason and when I say yes, the way is made. You never know what might be in store for you on this journey called life.
